Getting over the Pain of a Break Up
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If the relationship is over and there is no chance of getting back together then you need to heal yourself and get over the pain of the breakup so that you can move on and find love again (even if that’s the last thing on your mind right now).
This post will give you some tips on what to do to help get over a break up.
Try and think about the relationship in an objective light (yes that’s often more difficult said than done). Sometimes talking to an impartial friend helps so that you can talk about the problems the relationship openly with someone who won’t judge you. If you don’t have such a friend then even a counselor could help.
The first part of healing is often accepting what when wrong in the relationship and quit blaming yourself for it. When you are emotionally invested in a situation often you can think you did something wrong. If you’ve ever heard yourself say “If only I didn’t do thisâ€, or “If I just had of did this moreâ€, then take a step back and say it out loud to someone else so that you can discuss it rationally.
And even if you DID do something that caused the end of the relationship, you still can’t beat yourself up about it. If you made a mistake, then you need to forgive yourself for it and learn from it so it won’t happen again.
In this period of mourning the relationship it’s important to keep busy and try and be around other people. You are probably going to have moments of sadness where just hearing a song on the radio or seeing two people in the park kissing will have you crying. Remember it’s natural to feel this way. Crying is actually a very good way to let go of a lot of built up emotion – so allow yourself to do it every once in a while.
Keep a distance from your ex. This is not a time to ‘catch up’ or email to ‘see how you are doing’. Seeing your ex will only prolong the hurt and pain you are feeling. If the relationship really is over for good then avoid contact with your ex until your can think rationally again – otherwise you will just be putting yourself up for more hurt and pain when you see them.
March 24th, 2009 - 06:25
I agree that keeping busy can be a good thing. Sometimes when you are still in the height of the emotions you could set yourself spiraling into depression if all you do is sit and think about what happened. Keeping your distance for a little while is healthy.